








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2087 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1331 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 970 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,732 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutcube | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ask me if im a tree | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 62% | 86 |
| #4 | rzu | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Nosoren | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rzu | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Nosoren | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | bean | 53% | 141 |
| #7 | willwhat | 50% | 117 |
| #8 | hest0n | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bean | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Nosoren | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | nutcube | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ask me if im a tree | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 412 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | bean | 326 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | willwhat | 241 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Nosoren | 101 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | rzu | 73 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | +3.73 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | rzu | +3.46 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | nutcube | +1.84 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | ask me if im a tree | +1.29 | 89 | 39 |
| #5 | bean | +0.94 | 72 | 49 |





