








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1692 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2139 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1559 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1780 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,780 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dill | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | rzu | 66% | 77 |
| #3 | nutcube | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | ask me if im a tree | 65% | 71 |
| #5 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 62% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ask me if im a tree | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | LukeM | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | rzu | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | naca | 4 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | 574 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | LukeM | 339 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | willwhat | 284 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | rzu | 192 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | naca | 177 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rzu | +4.05 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | TheGreatestJakeToHave_EverJaked | +3.39 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | nutcube | +2.26 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | naca | +0.87 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | ask me if im a tree | +0.60 | 88 | 48 |





