








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 23% |
| Smokes | 969 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1339 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,052 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crown | 81% | 47 |
| #2 | Chimecho | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Dhaibhsan | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | Jake | 66% | 64 |
| #5 | 𝒜𝓏𝓊 | 62% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Shrimp | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | GOO$E | 59% | 17 |
| #8 | gobbledygook | 58% | 26 |
| #9 | Wake | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | This Game Makes Me Happy | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | 𝒜𝓏𝓊 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | gobbledygook | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Wake | 2 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | crown | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crown | 169 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | 𝒜𝓏𝓊 | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jake | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dhaibhsan | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | gobbledygook | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OpTiC Gandhi | +3.56 | 41 | 54 |
| #2 | Jake | +3.38 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Chimecho | +3.23 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | GOO$E | +3.03 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | Wake | +2.45 | 82 | 40 |





