








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7999 | 51% |
| Smokes | 3637 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1452 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2616 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,217,353 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1557 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASSQUEEN ARO | 54% | 203 |
| #2 | DocOnLSD | 53% | 261 |
| #3 | KoRRiKonG | 48% | 131 |
| #4 | GÖNNERGY GÜNTHER | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASSQUEEN ARO | 54% | 203 |
| #2 | DocOnLSD | 53% | 261 |
| #3 | KoRRiKonG | 48% | 131 |
| #4 | GÖNNERGY GÜNTHER | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DocOnLSD | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | GÖNNERGY GÜNTHER | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ASSQUEEN ARO | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | KoRRiKonG | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DocOnLSD | 917 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #2 | KoRRiKonG | 781 | 0.30 | 23 min |
| #3 | ASSQUEEN ARO | 429 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | GÖNNERGY GÜNTHER | 223 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoRRiKonG | +3.01 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | ASSQUEEN ✪ react1oNNN | +2.85 | 91 | 61 |
| #3 | ASSQUEEN ARO | +0.04 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | DocOnLSD | -0.06 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | GÖNNERGY GÜNTHER | -2.15 | 52 | 61 |





