








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 677 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8339 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4239 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4395 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5049 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,850,681 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spekJ | 56% | 120 |
| #2 | Puneslasher710 | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | ShmegThaGod | 51% | 165 |
| #4 | TheClassicNutt | 50% | 324 |
| #5 | travy | 41% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spekJ | 56% | 120 |
| #2 | Puneslasher710 | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | ShmegThaGod | 51% | 165 |
| #4 | TheClassicNutt | 50% | 324 |
| #5 | travy | 41% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheClassicNutt | 34 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ShmegThaGod | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | spekJ | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | travy | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Puneslasher710 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheClassicNutt | 1170 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #2 | spekJ | 318 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | ShmegThaGod | 203 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Puneslasher710 | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | travy | 55 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spekJ | +3.42 | 69 | 53 |
| #2 | ShmegThaGod | +1.81 | 58 | 42 |
| #3 | TheClassicNutt | +0.76 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | JuiceBox1855 | +0.39 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | Puneslasher710 | -2.29 | 42 | 48 |





