








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




213 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2987 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3283 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2783 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2644 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,764 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツKarmaFlexツ | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Soldaat Gon | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | G4U | 54% | 130 |
| #4 | JustLovingLife | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | s0mple | 50% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Soldaat Gon | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | G4U | 54% | 130 |
| #4 | JustLovingLife | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | s0mple | 50% | 216 |
| #6 | KASU | 50% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0mple | 90 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | G4U | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | KASU | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ツKarmaFlexツ | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | JustLovingLife | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s0mple | 346 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ツKarmaFlexツ | 235 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | KASU | 195 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | G4U | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | JustLovingLife | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blaq | +4.43 | 79 | 41 |
| #2 | G4U | +2.89 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | KASU | +1.09 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | JustLovingLife | -0.77 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | s0mple | -0.80 | 53 | 24 |





