








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 582 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10075 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6999 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6455 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4982 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,891,575 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 822 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElFata | 73% | 48 |
| #2 | 🎃 | 70% | 47 |
| #3 | thekingrenz | 70% | 73 |
| #4 | zui | 67% | 55 |
| #5 | 𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗔 | 66% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | SpicyWolfie | 60% | 48 |
| #13 | Vx | 60% | 177 |
| #14 | P-Nice | 60% | 42 |
| #15 | 🔥 | 55% | 82 |
| #16 | (ง︡'-'︠)ง | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpicyWolfie | 18 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | copiN | 17 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Vx | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | 🔥 | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | (ง︡'-'︠)ง | 8 | 0.0056 |





