








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7936 | 45% |
| Smokes | 3365 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5223 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1099 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,395,771 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | inavel | 65% | 69 |
| #7 | Vx | 65% | 269 |
| #8 | kiky | 65% | 48 |
| #9 | (āļïļĄ'-'ïļ )āļ | 63% | 63 |
| #10 | ðĨ | 61% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vx | 34 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | (āļïļĄ'-'ïļ )āļ | 12 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | ðĨ | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | copiN | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | bpv | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vx | 747 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | bpv | 574 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | kiky | 254 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | ðĨ | 220 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | copiN | 170 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ðððĶð | +4.66 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | copiN | +2.07 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | Vx | +1.17 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | inavel | +0.71 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | Astratez | +0.49 | 64 | 64 |





