








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 161 | 3% |
| Smokes | 734 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2956 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 1659 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,343,441 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moneybags | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Bobo | 50% | 109 |
| #3 | ♫ranjat⭕⃤♫ | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Erec Shawn | 47% | 72 |
| #5 | 雷虎 | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lepa | 43% | 222 |
| #8 | jänö | 43% | 132 |
| #9 | Coffin | 43% | 272 |
| #10 | zet | 41% | 237 |
| #11 | Sipulirouhe | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coffin | 26 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Lepa | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | zet | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Erec Shawn | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | jänö | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lepa | 1139 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | zet | 637 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Erec Shawn | 404 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #4 | Bobo | 308 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sipilä | 158 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erec Shawn | +4.00 | 71 | 81 |
| #2 | Lepa | +3.35 | 73 | 83 |
| #3 | ♫ranjat⭕⃤♫ | +2.44 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | Sipilä | +1.33 | 72 | 37 |
| #5 | Bobo | +1.20 | 63 | 58 |





