








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10907 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9609 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8653 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6476 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,526 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sipilä | 45% | 253 |
| #8 | Coffin | 44% | 231 |
| #9 | Pokkeli | 43% | 222 |
| #10 | Sipulirouhe | 43% | 49 |
| #11 | jänö | 41% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coffin | 22 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | zet | 21 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Sipilä | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | jänö | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Pokkeli | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zet | 695 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | Bobo | 383 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Moneybags | 246 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sipilä | 159 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | jänö | 131 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lepa | +2.53 | 69 | 82 |
| #2 | Brenkku | +1.69 | 84 | 74 |
| #3 | Sipilä | +0.76 | 72 | 35 |
| #4 | Bobo | -0.16 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | zet | -0.87 | 54 | 67 |





