








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3056 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2567 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1361 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,583 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hai:>me | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | galmo | 53% | 131 |
| #3 | Salty | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Solopoio | 49% | 132 |
| #5 | IceTrix | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hai:>me | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | galmo | 53% | 131 |
| #3 | Salty | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Solopoio | 49% | 132 |
| #5 | IceTrix | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | galmo | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Solopoio | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | IceTrix | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Hai:>me | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Salty | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solopoio | 536 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | galmo | 418 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Hai:>me | 297 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | IceTrix | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Salty | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solopoio | +1.75 | 57 | 48 |
| #2 | galmo | +0.57 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | IceTrix | +0.17 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Hai:>me | -0.51 | 55 | 61 |
| #5 | Salty | -0.84 | 80 | 53 |





