








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4362 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3737 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2947 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2617 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,007,100 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handumari | 75% | 60 |
| #2 | naBi | 74% | 38 |
| #3 | 초코냥 | 70% | 33 |
| #4 | Niera | 67% | 49 |
| #5 | Čolabin | 67% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dededede | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | kaeturu | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | 초코냥 | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Handumari | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | 기행종거인 | 3 | 0.0021 |





