








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2496 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3730 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5357 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3158 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,802,885 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 euro kebab | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | 52% | 182 |
| #3 | Spot&Knot | 50% | 121 |
| #4 | GonxoBiceps | 48% | 273 |
| #5 | Blue Freakhound | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Blue Freakhound | 44% | 52 |
| #6 | w_Jan | 36% | 53 |
| #7 | PeliTheGolden | 36% | 42 |
| #8 | IsDeman | 28% | 50 |
| #9 | DavKiller | 25% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GonxoBiceps | 39 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | w_Jan | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Spot&Knot | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | IsDeman | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GonxoBiceps | 956 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | 568 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Blue Freakhound | 166 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | w_Jan | 147 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | 1 euro kebab | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GonxoBiceps | +6.89 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | +3.85 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | Blue Freakhound | +0.70 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | 1 euro kebab | +0.68 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | w_Jan | -2.18 | 20 | 55 |





