








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 615 | 18% |
| Smokes | 758 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 956 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,803 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | L0b0r0n | 52% | 29 |
| #9 | w_Jan | 48% | 21 |
| #10 | Anon | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | IsDeman | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | PeliTheGolden | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GonxoBiceps | 18 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ARCHI | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | L0b0r0n | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | w_Jan | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GonxoBiceps | 580 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | 375 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | ARCHI | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | w_Jan | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Anon | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GonxoBiceps | +6.07 | 73 | 78 |
| #2 | Bl4ckWolf | +2.94 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | Team? SANS | +2.74 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | 1 euro kebab | -0.19 | 53 | 44 |
| #5 | L0b0r0n | -1.55 | 39 | 36 |





