








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1643 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2982 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2573 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2763 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,331 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simon Emil Ammitzbøll | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Jule | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | mureren | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Waahhaaaappaaa | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | Brumbassen7610 | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jule | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | mureren | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Waahhaaaappaaa | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | Brumbassen7610 | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | ♛Eriksen♛ | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waahhaaaappaaa | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Brumbassen7610 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mureren | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waahhaaaappaaa | 132 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Simon Emil Ammitzbøll | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jule | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Brumbassen7610 | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♛Eriksen♛ | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jule | +1.20 | 54 | 63 |
| #2 | Simon Emil Ammitzbøll | +0.73 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | QuIcKwEeZe | +0.50 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | ♛Eriksen♛ | +0.19 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | mureren | +0.07 | 63 | 32 |





