








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 825 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2527 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1849 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2187 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,437 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ℤ𝕚𝕆𝕞 | 51% | 215 |
| #3 | korzonEQ | 50% | 212 |
| #4 | FTA bully | 50% | 208 |
| #5 | VAC-OSA | 46% | 127 |
| #6 | positive | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℤ𝕚𝕆𝕞 | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | FTA bully | 19 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | positive | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | VAC-OSA | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | korzonEQ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FTA bully | 827 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | ℤ𝕚𝕆𝕞 | 331 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | VAC-OSA | 318 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | korzonEQ | 190 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | positive | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | positive | +2.24 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | ℤ𝕚𝕆𝕞 | +0.90 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | FTA bully | +0.57 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | PaiZ | +0.08 | 58 | 38 |
| #5 | VAC-OSA | +0.01 | 62 | 66 |





