








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1583 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1821 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 882 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 693 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,156,480 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tamar | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | Funip | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | VoLa | 52% | 168 |
| #4 | Andrus Ansip | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | Jüri | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tamar | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | Funip | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | VoLa | 52% | 168 |
| #4 | Andrus Ansip | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | Jüri | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoLa | 33 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Funip | 22 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Andrus Ansip | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Jüri | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Tamar | 9 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoLa | 347 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Andrus Ansip | 277 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jüri | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Funip | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tamar | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funip | +4.37 | 83 | 38 |
| #2 | Tamar | +1.13 | 81 | 33 |
| #3 | Andrus Ansip | +0.62 | 75 | 42 |
| #4 | Hector Salmon | +0.07 | 61 | 36 |
| #5 | VoLa | -2.15 | 28 | 43 |





