








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1047 | 49% |
| Smokes | 487 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 507 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,843 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corbyn | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Ready | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | Gorilla For Sale | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | DJLobster# #Doggo#### ### ### | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | SUBNORMAL | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DJLobster# #Doggo#### ### ### | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | SUBNORMAL | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | Lankstr | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Frenchie | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Swift | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUBNORMAL | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Lankstr | 2 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Corbyn | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Frenchie | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUBNORMAL | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | DJLobster# #Doggo#### ### ### | 98 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ready | 47 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Corbyn | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lankstr | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corbyn | +4.12 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | Lankstr | +3.27 | 58 | 62 |
| #3 | DJLobster# #Doggo#### ### ### | +2.79 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | Frenchie | +2.67 | 80 | 51 |
| #5 | Narwhal | +0.43 | 66 | 70 |





