








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1352 | 33% |
| Smokes | 915 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 716 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1089 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,115,078 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | p1 | 53% | 187 |
| #3 | SW^ | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Faze dog eater | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SW^ | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Faze dog eater | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Chlora | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | deaf | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1 | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | deaf | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Faze dog eater | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | intense | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1 | 651 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Faze dog eater | 313 | 0.44 | 6 min |
| #3 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | intense | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | deaf | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1 | +3.97 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | intense | +3.39 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | +1.96 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Chlora | -1.11 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Jordan "Ghoul" Carter | -1.81 | 66 | 38 |





