








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4289 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4249 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2034 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3565 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,098 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strafe | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | personsarecool | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | Lich | 62% | 136 |
| #4 | intense | 62% | 52 |
| #5 | SW^ | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | Jordan "Ghoul" Carter | 53% | 187 |
| #8 | Faze dog eater | 49% | 61 |
| #9 | deaf | 47% | 79 |
| #10 | Chlora | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan "Ghoul" Carter | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Faze dog eater | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Lich | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | deaf | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | intense | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze dog eater | 529 | 0.45 | 11 min |
| #2 | Lich | 387 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jordan "Ghoul" Carter | 366 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Chlora | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | 93 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | +3.47 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | p1 | +3.31 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | (he/they) femmy kittyboy :3 | +2.06 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | Strafe | +1.86 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | Lich | +1.83 | 82 | 63 |





