








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 621 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12727 | 41% |
| Smokes | 8742 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4899 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4574 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,470 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwick | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | LGx Replay | 57% | 95 |
| #3 | Thovex | 51% | 76 |
| #4 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwick | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | LGx Replay | 57% | 95 |
| #3 | Thovex | 51% | 76 |
| #4 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shwick | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | LGx Replay | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Thovex | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LGx Replay | 337 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Thovex | 303 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Shwick | 162 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 113 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | +1.22 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Shroub | -0.07 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | LGx Replay | -0.21 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | Thovex | -0.65 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Shwick | -0.80 | 31 | 63 |





