








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2498 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1649 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1769 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1857 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,489 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnL :> | 52% | 116 |
| #2 | casp0- | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | LuK | 47% | 96 |
| #4 | qany | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnL :> | 52% | 116 |
| #2 | casp0- | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | LuK | 47% | 96 |
| #4 | qany | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnL :> | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | qany | 11 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | LuK | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | casp0- | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qany | 407 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | dnL :> | 317 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | LuK | 161 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | casp0- | 89 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | +1.71 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | qany | -0.05 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | dnL :> | -0.23 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | LuK | -0.79 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | casp0- | -1.05 | 71 | 52 |





