








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 448 | 18% |
| Smokes | 971 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 535 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,608 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | dnL :> | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | LuK | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | qany | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | dnL :> | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | LuK | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | qany | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnL :> | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | qany | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | LuK | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | LARRY | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qany | 208 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | LARRY | 187 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | dnL :> | 154 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | LuK | 108 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | +1.25 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | qany | +1.13 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | dnL :> | -0.55 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | casp0- | -0.86 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | LuK | -0.86 | 54 | 64 |





