








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1764 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1027 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 959 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,177 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | 47% | 75 |
| #2 | casp0- | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | dnL :> | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | LuK | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | 47% | 75 |
| #2 | casp0- | 46% | 48 |
| #3 | dnL :> | 45% | 84 |
| #4 | LuK | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnL :> | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | LARRY | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | LuK | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | 351 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | dnL :> | 232 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | LuK | 139 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | casp0- | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARRY | +1.08 | 78 | 76 |
| #2 | qany | +0.29 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | LuK | -0.43 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | dnL :> | -0.55 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | casp0- | -1.35 | 72 | 51 |





