








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 404 | 30% |
| Smokes | 328 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 303 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,892 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K44RMA | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Jayvinius Vacuum | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | mira_cles | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Hero | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | seи | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cheese | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | nik0 | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Royal | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | Dr. Koch | 11% | 9 |
| #11 | Solus | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheese | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Ken | 3 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | nik0 | 3 | 0.0526 |
| #4 | Jayvinius Vacuum | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Hero | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solus | 52 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #2 | cheese | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dr. Koch | 42 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ken | 37 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jayvinius Vacuum | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nik0 | +2.59 | 58 | 54 |
| #2 | K44RMA | +2.18 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | cat_dog | +1.71 | 81 | 56 |
| #4 | Jayvinius Vacuum | +0.47 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | seи | +0.32 | 71 | 67 |





