








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




163 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7031 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5357 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5135 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5795 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,512,641 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crack Dog | 33 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | jackson | 20 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Solus | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Silly | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Ken | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solus | 318 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ken | 277 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dr. Koch | 274 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Crack Dog | 201 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | jackson | 158 | 0.10 | 5 min |





