








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 914 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1262 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1010 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,910 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unnil | 53% | 111 |
| #2 | Breakfast56063 | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | vg268 | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | JUKEBOX GUY | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | viogolem | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | vg268 | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | JUKEBOX GUY | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | viogolem | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | YaroPwNzZ | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | ✪ Justfl0 | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Justfl0 | 12 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | vg268 | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Unnil | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Breakfast56063 | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | JUKEBOX GUY | 4 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUKEBOX GUY | 82 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | vg268 | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Justfl0 | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Breakfast56063 | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Unnil | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Justfl0 | +2.95 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | vg268 | +0.73 | 50 | 45 |
| #3 | Unnil | +0.53 | 50 | 40 |
| #4 | Breakfast56063 | +0.42 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | FoGa | +0.12 | 60 | 55 |





