








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1570 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2276 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1390 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,499 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2017 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azer_ | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Bigbootynobrain | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | aksol | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | jeth- | 53% | 210 |
| #5 | stephツ | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | aksol | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | jeth- | 53% | 210 |
| #5 | stephツ | 42% | 66 |
| #6 | MALLO | 42% | 45 |
| #7 | Abudew | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeth- | 26 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | stephツ | 16 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | MALLO | 15 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | aksol | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Abudew | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeth- | 274 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | stephツ | 172 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | MALLO | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bigbootynobrain | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Abudew | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeth- | +1.83 | 86 | 42 |
| #2 | azer_ | +1.54 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | MALLO | +0.87 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | aksol | +0.46 | 58 | 24 |
| #5 | s1 | -0.27 | 83 | 52 |





