








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5654 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5247 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3464 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4304 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,542,569 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1701 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeth- | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | stephツ | 52% | 242 |
| #3 | s1 | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeth- | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | stephツ | 52% | 242 |
| #3 | s1 | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephツ | 34 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | jeth- | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | s1 | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stephツ | 563 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | jeth- | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | s1 | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MALLO | +2.15 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | jeth- | +1.79 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | stephツ | +0.32 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | s1 | -1.78 | 85 | 55 |





