








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 235 matches | ||
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




124 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6898 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6227 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9953 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 10321 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,838,134 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12801 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swivle Chair | 60% | 137 |
| #2 | The Big Cream | 58% | 612 |
| #3 | MediumWaffle44 | 55% | 265 |
| #4 | DanGoldGem | 52% | 85 |
| #5 | cart⋆˚✿˖° | 50% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MediumWaffle44 | 55% | 265 |
| #4 | DanGoldGem | 52% | 85 |
| #5 | cart⋆˚✿˖° | 50% | 137 |
| #6 | sleepy | 49% | 92 |
| #7 | Ivy ♥ | 43% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Big Cream | 38 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | MediumWaffle44 | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | DanGoldGem | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Swivle Chair | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | sleepy | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Big Cream | 2015 | 0.16 | 51 min |
| #2 | MediumWaffle44 | 807 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Swivle Chair | 453 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | DanGoldGem | 329 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ivy ♥ | 64 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Big Cream | +2.51 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | KudoOkami | +2.24 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | cart⋆˚✿˖° | +2.18 | 69 | 19 |
| #4 | DanGoldGem | -0.53 | 45 | 57 |
| #5 | MediumWaffle44 | -1.31 | 42 | 63 |





