








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4724 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4980 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6352 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6000 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,716,171 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xereta. | 1639 | 0.16 | 41 min |
| #2 | ᵃⁿᵈʳᵉ | 1424 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #3 | rittmonster | 906 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #4 | What else? | 866 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #5 | Brdosjooj | 809 | 0.11 | 15 min |





