








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1055 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8615 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4903 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5702 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4957 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,743,191 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brdosjooj | 51% | 312 |
| #2 | rick | 50% | 50 |
| #3 | ᵃⁿᵈʳᵉ | 49% | 320 |
| #4 | rittmonster | 48% | 457 |
| #5 | What else? | 48% | 483 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rittmonster | 59 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Ste | 29 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ᵃⁿᵈʳᵉ | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | What else? | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Brdosjooj | 8 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rittmonster | 1432 | 0.15 | 41 min |
| #2 | ᵃⁿᵈʳᵉ | 1030 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | Ste | 891 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #4 | What else? | 763 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #5 | Brdosjooj | 638 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rittmonster | +3.23 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | Xereta. | +2.55 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | rick | -0.29 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | ᵃⁿᵈʳᵉ | -0.50 | 39 | 61 |
| #5 | What else? | -2.08 | 35 | 42 |





