








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2944 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2376 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2591 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3537 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,057,007 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | B.O.B | 45% | 108 |
| #4 | Ugglis | 44% | 291 |
| #5 | ✪красный димитри | 42% | 59 |
| #6 | URKANGURKAN | 39% | 170 |
| #7 | Jonä | 33% | 40 |





