








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2040 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1587 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1637 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,411 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Command3rKoen | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Vincentosz | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | Klaasnikov | 62% | 81 |
| #4 | Ghostly4 | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | more fast | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Itua | 57% | 46 |
| #7 | Dusja | 55% | 85 |
| #8 | Fuse-魔- | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | nekowa | 53% | 62 |
| #10 | _BaasHaas_ | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dusja | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klaasnikov | 439 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | Itua | 180 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | nekowa | 179 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dusja | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vincentosz | 105 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuse-魔- | +1.34 | 62 | 72 |
| #2 | Vincentosz | +1.30 | 53 | 54 |
| #3 | Itua | +1.15 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | _BaasHaas_ | +1.00 | 92 | 67 |
| #5 | nekowa | +0.94 | 80 | 57 |





