








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1360 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1944 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1455 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1868 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,153 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duhpe | 75% | 44 |
| #2 | gang | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | ava | 67% | 60 |
| #4 | m i l o | 67% | 84 |
| #5 | man327 | 66% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ava | 67% | 60 |
| #4 | m i l o | 67% | 84 |
| #5 | man327 | 66% | 29 |
| #6 | Halen | 62% | 13 |
| #7 | beasley | 59% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duhpe | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | m i l o | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | beasley | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ava | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | gang | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m i l o | 366 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | beasley | 292 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ava | 184 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | duhpe | 137 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | gang | 61 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m i l o | +3.58 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | .......... | +1.65 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | beasley | +1.16 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | man327 | +0.87 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | Halen | +0.66 | 76 | 53 |





