








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1380 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1542 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1745 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,429,841 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TyMac | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Smk3RR | 69% | 48 |
| #3 | padZ | 63% | 126 |
| #4 | Charge | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | phil | 56% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | padZ | 63% | 126 |
| #4 | Charge | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | phil | 56% | 150 |
| #6 | blackhawk | 55% | 92 |
| #7 | K1ngOfRandom | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | padZ | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Charge | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | blackhawk | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | phil | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | K1ngOfRandom | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phil | 440 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | padZ | 255 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Smk3RR | 209 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Charge | 190 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #5 | blackhawk | 189 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smk3RR | +2.54 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Charge | +1.46 | 58 | 80 |
| #3 | padZ | +1.40 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | TyMac | +1.36 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | blackhawk | +1.11 | 68 | 55 |





