








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 27% |
| Smokes | 875 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 820 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,751 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TyMac | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | rice | 63% | 126 |
| #3 | Charge | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Smk3RR | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | blackhawk | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rice | 63% | 126 |
| #3 | Charge | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Smk3RR | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | blackhawk | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | K1ngOfRandom | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rice | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | blackhawk | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Charge | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Smk3RR | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | K1ngOfRandom | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charge | 250 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #2 | Smk3RR | 149 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | rice | 114 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | blackhawk | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | TyMac | 64 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charge | +2.21 | 54 | 82 |
| #2 | Smk3RR | +1.74 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | padZ | +1.28 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | rice | +0.93 | 82 | 43 |
| #5 | blackhawk | -0.56 | 63 | 51 |





