








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4976 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3814 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4944 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4771 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,951,686 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2033 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | tyrone | 53% | 291 |
| #3 | Weener Toucher | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | monty | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | tyrone | 53% | 291 |
| #3 | Weener Toucher | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | monty | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyrone | 53 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | pub_rob | 13 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | monty | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Weener Toucher | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyrone | 632 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | monty | 274 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | pub_rob | 222 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | Weener Toucher | 118 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyrone | +4.91 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | pub_rob | +2.89 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | monty | +2.23 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | dodo | -0.45 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | Weener Toucher | -2.31 | 45 | 44 |





