








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14787 | 49% |
| Smokes | 8237 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2073 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 5082 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,199 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Window Licker | 2106 | 0.18 | 48 min |
| #2 | Anga | 256 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | daws | 239 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Giraffrey | 179 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Archarin | 154 | 0.05 | 4 min |





