








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1032 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1048 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1170 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,506 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HIM | 58% | 91 |
| #2 | swattish | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | FrV | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | Japa ** | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | bobajay | 54% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Humpty Dumpty | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | Brownzera | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | LucasM | 52% | 29 |
| #9 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | 48% | 62 |
| #10 | 2k | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japa ** | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | HIM | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | FrV | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | bobajay | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrV | 495 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #2 | bobajay | 399 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | HIM | 276 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Japa ** | 263 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | 2k | 225 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrV | +3.22 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | HIM | +1.45 | 45 | 64 |
| #3 | Japa ** | +1.16 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | bobajay | +0.84 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | +0.09 | 71 | 58 |





