








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 487 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6272 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5402 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1641 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3672 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,490 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swattish | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | FrV | 50% | 290 |
| #3 | Japa ** | 50% | 347 |
| #4 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | 49% | 261 |
| #5 | bobajay | 49% | 304 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HIM | 48% | 384 |
| #8 | LucasM | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | Brownzera | 43% | 128 |
| #10 | Mukaju | 40% | 94 |
| #11 | Humpty Dumpty | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HIM | 30 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | 24 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Japa ** | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | bobajay | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | FrV | 17 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrV | 1656 | 0.27 | 47 min |
| #2 | bobajay | 1482 | 0.23 | 48 min |
| #3 | Japa ** | 1054 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #4 | HIM | 1002 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #5 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | 797 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrV | +2.38 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Aʀᴛᴢɪɴ | +0.90 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | HIM | +0.79 | 47 | 64 |
| #4 | Japa ** | +0.56 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | bobajay | +0.04 | 77 | 67 |





