








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3776 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3135 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3831 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3131 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,788 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skrt | 1085 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | FallouT | 513 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | SenShian | 312 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Smokey | 128 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | kanyewest24 | 72 | 0.04 | 2 min |





