








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




124 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9984 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7609 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7938 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7388 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,011 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2086 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SenShian | 52% | 282 |
| #6 | Smokey | 51% | 190 |
| #7 | Fraves | 49% | 335 |
| #8 | FallouT | 46% | 428 |
| #9 | kanyewest24 | 36% | 120 |





