








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3524 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6298 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6821 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6675 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,681 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fraves | 51% | 174 |
| #4 | FallouT | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | skrt | 51% | 190 |
| #6 | CrAz3D | 50% | 52 |
| #7 | kanyewest24 | 48% | 48 |





