








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 316 matches | ||
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7377 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 4085 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2990 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,149,772 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MONTAGE | 57% | 207 |
| #2 | VINY VILÃO | 56% | 225 |
| #3 | ruim e chiliquento | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | Dryzio Vilonesco | 53% | 235 |
| #5 | ㊲ JABUTI | 52% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/exodiavilao | 3604 | 0.20 | 78 min |
| #2 | Sap0 do Valão | 2071 | 0.16 | 51 min |
| #3 | Dryzio Vilonesco | 1055 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #4 | VINY VILÃO | 957 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #5 | ㊲ JABUTI | 845 | 0.20 | 20 min |





