








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2079 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 386 matches | ||
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 55,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16411 | 29% |
| Smokes | 13222 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 13950 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 12065 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,955,220 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sap0 do Valão | 2643 | 0.16 | 64 min |
| #2 | ULTRALORD SINISTER | 2488 | 0.14 | 58 min |
| #3 | Dryzio Vilonesco | 1630 | 0.21 | 44 min |
| #4 | VINY VILÃO | 1189 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #5 | ㊲ JABUTI | 954 | 0.19 | 23 min |





