








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1954 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 710 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2261 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,161 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +duck | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | Woo Ditters | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | saltinmyeyes | 53% | 77 |
| #4 | castrate | 42% | 57 |
| #5 | CryZy | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | saltinmyeyes | 53% | 77 |
| #4 | castrate | 42% | 57 |
| #5 | CryZy | 39% | 46 |
| #6 | DØZA | 37% | 135 |
| #7 | <///}=3 | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DØZA | 34 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | +duck | 24 | 0.0257 |
| #3 | CryZy | 21 | 0.0217 |
| #4 | castrate | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | <///}=3 | 3 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DØZA | 333 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | saltinmyeyes | 141 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | CryZy | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | +duck | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | castrate | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +duck | +4.83 | 46 | 27 |
| #2 | Woo Ditters | +2.25 | 61 | 38 |
| #3 | CryZy | +1.14 | 38 | 37 |
| #4 | <///}=3 | +0.81 | 18 | 32 |
| #5 | DØZA | +0.64 | 54 | 58 |





