








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 158 | 7% |
| Smokes | 567 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 940 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 693 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,290 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perkele | 55% | 109 |
| #2 | Буйно голова | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | pizdjuks vecais | 55% | 75 |
| #4 | gājēju pāreja | 50% | 179 |
| #5 | superhans | 47% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gājēju pāreja | 50% | 179 |
| #5 | superhans | 47% | 202 |
| #6 | Zivju Piens | 44% | 121 |
| #7 | Im-a-Cloud! | 41% | 59 |
| #8 | Levelīna | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | superhans | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Буйно голова | 14 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | gājēju pāreja | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | pizdjuks vecais | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Zivju Piens | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zivju Piens | 297 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Perkele | 295 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | gājēju pāreja | 277 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | pizdjuks vecais | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | superhans | 131 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gājēju pāreja | +4.44 | 63 | 53 |
| #2 | pizdjuks vecais | +4.14 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | Буйно голова | +1.42 | 45 | 45 |
| #4 | superhans | +0.52 | 45 | 53 |
| #5 | Perkele | +0.46 | 64 | 65 |





