








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 330 | 15% |
| Smokes | 424 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 941 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,336 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gājēju pāreja | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Perkele | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Joe Pork | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | pizdjuks vecais | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | Zivju Piens | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | pizdjuks vecais | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | Zivju Piens | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Levelīna | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Im-a-Cloud! | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | superhans | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pizdjuks vecais | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Joe Pork | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Zivju Piens | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | gājēju pāreja | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Im-a-Cloud! | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pizdjuks vecais | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zivju Piens | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Perkele | 74 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | gājēju pāreja | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Im-a-Cloud! | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pizdjuks vecais | +4.45 | 62 | 62 |
| #2 | gājēju pāreja | +4.03 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | Буйно голова | +1.10 | 44 | 43 |
| #4 | Perkele | +0.46 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | Zivju Piens | -1.53 | 49 | 53 |





