










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1997 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1129 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,771 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trashpad_ | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | 人 | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | st☽rmyyy | 57% | 129 |
| #4 | ostrich | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | iTsBoSs | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 人 | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | st☽rmyyy | 57% | 129 |
| #4 | ostrich | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | iTsBoSs | 54% | 69 |
| #6 | Fr34k! | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st☽rmyyy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | iTsBoSs | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Fr34k! | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | 人 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | trashpad_ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st☽rmyyy | 623 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | iTsBoSs | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | 人 | 134 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fr34k! | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ostrich | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fally | +1.02 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | st☽rmyyy | +0.38 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | ostrich | -0.42 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | Fr34k! | -1.43 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | 人 | -1.43 | 41 | 63 |





